When totally broken
When there is nothing to support self
The breaking the disintegration the utter failure.
Of all mechanisms to relieve the deep anguish
Of facing the self in collapse
In free fall with no “rock bottom” to even break it
The only option is surrender.
Of even the modicum of achievements
Accepting the failure of this life
The list of defects, unsurmountable
The harms done to others, incalculable.
The belief that restoration is possible, shattered.
Dragged down to one’s knees.
Giving in, giving up, surrender to its limit.
Drowning in the tears of self-loathing
Even this needs to be sacrificed.
Maybe this is a new definition of Dveykus.
Forget the pious definitions !
Maybe just maybe …
The only way to connect with this perfect higher power.
Is one of emptying the self.
The very removal of the bloated importance of the grieving self
The tragic the inevitable the total suffering package
Free falling into what was feared as oblivion.
The loss of identity
The loss of all that was struggled for.
The loss of all that mattered and loved.
In this very fall
Is the total surrender into?
Dveykus
