Dad's Tombstone Setting And Siyum

You will notice on the cover of your booklet over the picture of Sabba Willy the words:

And well may you ask why it is placed there and its connection with Sabba Uncle Willy?

My beloved father has been gone from this world some 10 months ago but it feels like a dream. The pictures videos and plethora of images you will see tonight give us the false impression of his ongoing aliveness and only exacerbate the pain of his loss.

Eugene’s evocative words on the tombstone, paralleling Mum’s in brevity yet capturing in a few lines the essence of Dad was mirrored by his remarks tonight.

Thanks to all our wonderful speakers including the Siyum and divrei brochoh from Motty, The Dvar Torah from Reb Refoel Moshe, the poetic lines from Chaim, the superb analysis of Dad by Batya, The poignant message from Vienna from cousin Anthony and above all the presence and blessings from Uncle Eric’s viola in response to all of us chanting:

“when I grow up I want to be like Uncle Eric” in unison!

Indeed the biggest tribute to dad was you! All of you! Showing up tonight to honor his memory.

Each of the four tables representing the four branches that emanated from his vision, each so different in temperament character, approach to life and Torah, yet each emanating from the tapestry of dad’s personality and he would have approved of each one you tonight with love humor sarcasm and wit.

My hope is we stay together as a family unified in our love of Mum and Dad and in their unconditional love of each and every one of us, that their memory guide us when we meet the hard spots in life and their inspiration of “just get on with it” as expressed here by uncles Eric’s message:

Let me return to the original question:

Its first mention of the term seems to come from a midrash (sorry Dad!) on the very first verse of the Song of Songs:

The song of songs which is Shlomo’s. Our Rabbis taught, “Every Shlomo (because they were at a loss to explain why [Scripture] did not mention his father, as it did in Mishlei and Koheles) mentioned in Shir Hashirim is sacred [=refers to God], the King to Whom peace שָׁלוֹם belongs.

Maseches Shavuos 35b.

 

It is a song which transcends above all other songs, which was recited to the Holy One, Blessed Is He, by His assembly and His people, the congregation of Yisroel.

 

Sabba too was a man of peace. In shul at work in the family he was a peacemaker. As I watched him rise in the ranks of the Federation to become a Vice President it was this precise quality that made him appreciated by all. In his lay-chairmanship of the Federation Kashrus he commanded the respect of both the United Synagogue Beth Din as well as the Kedassia sister supervising bodies thereby giving credibility to this fledgling authority to the point that EL AL acquired the Federation kashrus for all their flights out of Heathrow. His respect for the Dayanim on issues of kashrus as well as his ability to interact with secular officials of the airline proved to be the winning combination. 

In the tense standoffs in shul during the High Holidays it was sabba the peacemaker who smoothed over hurt feelings.

My second citation comes from our liturgy :

Every Friday night we welcome the angelic guests to the Shabbes table with the yehi ratson that also contains the following phrase:

And we too pray for peace….Oh Almighty King who peace is His, bless me with peace ….

Sabba was a happy man always optimistic and as Eliyahu recorded…always saw the cup half full. God blessed him with inner peace despite the world at war despite Hitler…despite his losses and near death experiences…always looked on the bright side of life  ( BTW he hated Monty Python! always favouring the sardonic European sense of humor).

In the last reference I remember weekly when

Dayan Braceiner and later Rabbi Zvi Telzner had the custom to invite a layperson the honor to begin the pizmon for seuda shlishit and Dad always was honored with the following zemirah:

He would then proceed to sing it a la German oberland tune….he must have remembered from Vienna…

May the Possessor of peace grant us blessing and peace—from left (north) and from right (south), peace upon Israel. The merciful One, He will bless His people with peace, and they will merit to see children and grandchildren occupying themselves with Torah and with commandments, [bringing] peace upon Israel. Advisor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of peace (Isaiah 9:5).

His own spirituality was always one of humility…he hated show and imitation piety…

In researching the term the most poignant Torah that encapsulated Sabba Willy’s sense of shalom I turn (as always) to the deepest writings of

Rav kook in Orot Hakodesh.

There is one who sings the song of his own life, and in himself he finds everything, his full spiritual satisfaction.  

There is another who sings the song of his people. He leaves the circle of his own individual self, because he finds it without sufficient breadth, without an idealistic basis. He aspires towards the heights, and he attaches himself with a gentle love to the whole community of Israel. Together with her he sings her song. He feels grieved in her afflictions and delights in her hopes. He contemplates noble and pure thoughts about her past and her future, and probes with love and wisdom her inner spiritual essence.

There is another who reaches toward more distant realms, and he goes beyond the boundary of Israel to sing the song of humanity. His spirit extends to the wider vistas of the majesty of humanity generally, its noble essence. He aspires toward humanity's general goal and looks forward toward its higher perfection. From this source of life he draws the subjects of his meditation and study, his aspirations and his visions.

Then there is one who rises toward wider horizons, until he links himself with all existence, with all God’s creatures, with all worlds, and he sings his song with all of them. It is of one such as this that tradition has said that whoever sings a portion of the song each day is assured of having a share in the world to come.

And then there is one who rises with all these songs in one ensemble, and they all join their voices. Together they sing their songs with beauty, each one lends vitality and life to the other. They are sounds of joy and gladness, sounds of jubilation and celebration, sounds of ecstasy and holiness.

The song of the self, the song of the people, the song of humanity, the song of the world all merge in him at all times, in every hour. And this full comprehensiveness rises to become the song of holiness, the song of God, the song of Israel, in its full strength and beauty, in it full authenticity and greatness.

The name “Israel” stand for shir el, the song of God.

It is the Song of Songs of Solomon, shlomo, which means peace or wholeness. It is the song of the King whom is wholeness.  

Rav Kook, "Lights of Holiness", trans. by Ben Zion Bokser (New York: Paulist Press, 1978)

 Dad sung his own tune…was merutze…lakol…beloved by all…

 

He arose beyond all the pettiness to see the bigger whole…

Blown by the winds of war and fate to foreign lands…powerless and at the mercy of others…nonetheless he survived to build anew a family a legacy that reflected his deepest spirit… that of peace.

Dad was a happy man..

She-hashalom shelo...

His peace was his…

He embodied peace…

May his memory be an inspiration to his children and yotzei chalotzov

And his example of peace to klal yisroel.