May I invite you in?
May I trust you?
Will you accept me?
Will you trash me?
I’m a bit fragile these days
Knocked down too many times Indicted and Judged
Condemned too many times
The inner Kritik and significant Women
I was born to or chose to
Relinquish my ego
On a platter
On an altar for a moment’s validation
A broken soul
Will you accept me? Unconditionally
Despite my lies deceits and betrayals?
Despite my unfaithfulness?
My insistence on freedom of spirit?
My naughtiness
My individual biography
Will you accept even that?
May I bathe in You?
Your balmy waters
Your colors and music
Your C# minor Fugue?
May I touch your image? Feel Your softness
Hear your humming
Smell the fragrance
Of your perfumed love?
Feel the moist grass in my toes
In the music of service
My lips open in Worship
After so long
So much silence
Despite myself
I feel the lips open
And tears flowing
And the deep gnawing ache in the chest
As I realize the beauty and the tragedy
The horror and the ecstasy
I know
I really do
You have other motives
You are betrothed to Him
You need Him
And once again
I am the rejected
I am unworthy
I am left alone
But for these few moments
I do feel You
Present to me
Even me
In this place of worship
In this Temple
Bathing in the harmonies
The slow melody
The singing quietly
The silence of 500 others
I feel the glory
In these tears.
Thank you
