Julian Ungar-Sargon

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Daf Ditty

A wide-ranging commentary on the daily page of Talmud.

Nedarim 88: Sons In Law

jyungar January 21, 2023

For the source text click/tap here: Nedarim 88

To download, click/tap here: PDF

Our next MISHNA states: With regard to one who vows that benefit from him is forbidden to his son-in-law, but he nevertheless wishes to give his daughter, i.e., the wife of that same son-in-law, money, then, though he cannot do so directly, as anything acquired by a woman belongs to her husband, he should say to her: This money is hereby given to you as a gift, provided that your husband has no rights to it, but the gift includes only that which you pick up and place in your mouth.

This mishnah discusses a situation in which a man is under a vow not to provide any benefit to his son-in-law. The mishnah teaches how the father may give money to his daughter without allowing his son-in-law to receive benefit. We should note that this mishnah probably more properly belongs in chapter four where the mishnah discussed circumventing vows such as these. Assumedly, the mishnah is brought in this chapter because it mentions fathers and daughters. 

The rabbis speak about their interpretations of “what you pick up and place in your mouth”.  Without saying “do as you please” with that gift, the gift automatically reverts back to her husband, for a wife’s monetary gifts belong to her husband.   

We explore the fraught relationships we have with in-laws

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Julian Ungar-Sargon

This is Julian Ungar-Sargon's personal website. It contains poems, essays, and podcasts for the spiritual seeker and interdisciplinary aficionado.​