Only in pain
Can I connect
An realize that I am at the center of this trauma.
In the fog of alcohol
In the release from the left hemisphere
Something happens,
A paradox,
clarity emerges!
That my very existence
My existential being,
Emerges,
And finds solace
And meaning,
And validation.
In only this…
The nadir..
The very Even Shesiya
From which the world emerges
Spun out like a thread..
In the Kaddish..
Among the cacophony of black-hatted voices..
Responding dutifully,
A sea of frumkeit
precisely here!
is where it all takes place.
Downstairs this Tisha B’Av,
my wife watches videos,
of Charedi Rabbis spewing mussar
for this will save her soul,
or her guilt.
And I upstairs,
I think about Gisa Fleischman
and how she was tortured..
but he (Rabbi Dov Ber Weissmandl)
gets away (Kastner’s train?)..
How she was nailed to the floor of the cattle car
And gassed as soon she arrived in Auschwitz..
And why I feel responsible for it,
Why?
Why?
We are missing the point!
