Not yet a year old
She beckons me with her hand
As if to say “Come Dada”
And leaves her mother’s arms for my embrace
Putting her head on my shoulder
She lies quietly and calm
As I stroke her slowly
And whisper “Dada loves you”
Today she uttered the word “Da”
And crowd to me on all fours.
I grab her placing my lips in the nape of her neck
With a “poid” a loud blow kiss that makes the sound of a belch.
As I hold her
Rocking slowly to calm her
I am in heaven once again
With each child
This age
When they first realize a Dada
And come to me
With open arms
And react to my invitation for
“Hoppa hoppa Reiter”
Some German child son my father used to sing
That I have bastardized
That even the older children laugh at when I sing
The moment is frozen in time for each child
And now Rayna Batya’s time has come.
For these few months I will be in heaven
As each one responds to me as Dada
After which they will become more and more socialized
And I will recede into their pantheon of elders.
For now I am in heaven
This deep connection does of course, much more for me,
As I join the long chain of fathers and grandfathers
Who hug their children and grandchildren unconditionally.
This embrace puts everything else in life into perspective
Making everything else meaningful
And worth all the time effort trouble and sorrow
As she lies on my neck
I am filed with a lightness of heart
And a fullness of being
This little peanut does that to me
Her green eyes
Her smile and giggles
Her soft skin
In one little bundle
Holding me
Helpless
Dependent
Yet in full control
She is aware!
pre-verbal
Yet her little vocal gestures inform us all of her desire
As if she has not need(as yet) for language
She conveys all through her eyes and expression
Her inspiratory sighs
And her wild gesticulations
She draws this love out of me
It is as wide as the ocean
And as she slowly falls to sleep in my arms
I know the future is certain
And I am comforted.
