Gravity falling falling the weight of self contributes to the
speed and impact in the same direction each time why
donʼt I learn? Gravitas the weight of self a self-imposition
of importance but directed only downward since age
keeps dragging the self the weighty seriousness of the
sage holier-than-thou mind you maybe even the divine
without humor a deadly sin for levity is not frum
אז ימלא שחוק פינו ולשוננו רנה
only then in messianic times not now at the sabbath table!
The weight of credentials necessary tickets to this and that
club but meaningless “roshei taivos” that crowd out any
real sense of self to the other, a barrier of illusions.
and in the office the clinic the hospital these letters that
mean so much to clueless victims of the medical myth
come to the white-coated sage and listening to the patient
recount their symptoms mostly predictable rarely
interesting with the appropriate heaviness the clinic
gravitas expected attempting to take their pettiness
seriously for in my field for in the unforgiving brain
symptoms are either trivial or devastating there seems no
in-between illness!
Like the politician on the screen in interviews served up for
dinner time, prime time like a pundit waiter
offering this or that solution for the hungry palate (as if he
knows the taste of the port), always sure to disappoint with
his serious but flawed unconscious seduction seeing
himself rather than his ideas for which he has none.
mostly the gravitas of sure slow inevitable aging with silver
hair receding hairline and white beard in the mirror no
longer the urgent spirit now the achy morning joints and
creaky spine that makes new noises in the dawn.
Is this what we can expect? at the pearly gates only this?
Maybe this is hell?
I will ask, for I expected humor and grace and acceptance!
